Married to Medicine Season 11, Episode 5 Recap: Dr. Contessa Wants to 'Square Up'

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A bunch of Bravo shows are already on hiatus because of the holidays. Fortunately, Married to Medicine didn’t miss a beat this week, and that's really the only gift we needed this holiday season. Could you imagine if we had to wait until 2025 to see what happens next at the dude ranch?

The ladies are still deep into their cast trip, and there’s a lot of pressure because Dr. Contessa, Phaedra, and Lateasha planned it with the intention of bringing everyone together. So far, the results have been mixed because some people, like Dr. Heavenly, have no interest in resolving their problems. Plus, Toya has been worrying everyone to death about her Cowboy Carter-themed photoshoot.

In Married to Medicine Season 11, Episode 5, “Blow Up on the Ranch,” we watched Toya’s creative vision come to life. Then, all hell broke hell loose when the ladies tried to sit down for dinner. We know Beyoneé wouldn't approve of any of this.

What happened in Married to Medicine Season 11, Episode 5?

The glamping and ranching experience continued, but the ladies strayed farther and farther away from the goal of creating unity amongst the group. It started with Toya barking out orders to the group for her photoshoot. Then, chaos erupted at dinner when Dr. Heavenly and Contessa nearly came to blows.

By the end of the episode, Dr. Jackie wound up on the floor. Heavenly was screaming for security, and Phaedra said a total of five words in the whole episode. Keep on reading for a breakdown of all of the fresh M2M mess.

Off-brand Beyoncés

Episode 5 picked up with the ladies heading to Toya’s photoshoot. They’re all dressed up in their cowgirl outfits, and Toya was feeling extra excited about what she put together.

Toya explained that each lady would get fifteen minutes to do solo shots, and then she had some group poses they had to capture. Every step of the way, Toya offered her feedback.

She was like, “You look mad. You look unfocused. Feel your fierce!”

Jackie compared the experience to an "anal itch." Meanwhile, Quad got so frustrated she started whacking Toya with an American flag. Don’t worry — it was in a playful way, not in a January 6 way.

Then, just when you thought the photoshoot was over, Toya pulled out one more surprise. In came the legendary Beyoncé tribute artist, Miss Shalae. She came riding in on a horse, and if you squint, you'd really think it was Queen Bey.

Daddy duties

When other Bravo shows try to incorporate the husbands into an episode, that’s usually the cue to go to the bathroom or to head to the kitchen to top off your Vida Tequilla cocktail. That’s never the case with M2M. These husbands are lovey, and this episode gave us a snapshot of what they were up to while the ladies were at the dude ranch.

Cecil was teaching the boys how to cook because, according to him, today’s “modern women” might not do it for them. Meanwhile, Dr. Damon took his kids shopping for apartment supplies, and Dr. Eugene helped his kids formulate their own colognes. Fun and wholesome stuff, right?

At one point, we saw Dr. Damon crying in a boutique because his son, an aspiring dentist, said he wanted to be just like him. It was a sweet moment, but the editors were laying some breadcrumbs for the messy accusations hurled at Damon later in the episode. Some people in this cast don’t think he’s the big softie we saw in this scene.

Quad says the group tried to “bury her”

Back at the dude ranch, the ladies put on fresh Western wear for a group dinner. Toya said she was ready to eat after “working” all day. Imagine how her husband must feel.

Before they could eat, Toya started stirring the pot again and trying to get the ladies to talk about some of the issues impacting the group. She felt like the ladies were navigating the trip on a surface level. She wanted to see more progress, which opened the floor for Quad to give us one of her world-famous monologues. This time, it was about how the group tried to ice her out.

"Ya'll tried to bury me," Quad began, with the emotion of an Emmy-winning actress. "You drew blood at the table, and when I didn't die, then you turned around and called me to the room to jab me some more until I bled out — until I hurt, and I had nothing inside."

Someone, please cast Quad in a Lifetime movie ASAP. This type of delivery deserves to be appreciated. Unfortunately, Toya wasn't feeling it. She was like, "I'm sorry. That's deep. You bled out?"

On the show, it looks like they're specifically talking about the Napa Valley trip from Season 10. In reality, they're also talking about the meetings that allegedly happened behind the scenes where several cast members tried to get Quad fired from the show. It didn't work, and now, Quad is just expected to move past it like nothing happened.

Dr. Heavenly and Dr. Contessa hit each other below the belt

The ladies sat down at the dinner table, but before they could get any food on their plates, the drama continued. Thanks to Toya, the ladies kept trying to address all of the outstanding issues bringing down their "friendships." Even Quad and Sweet Tea managed to squeeze out an apology for some online shade that was exchanged. There’s some progress!

However, things took a turn when Dr. Heavenly called out Contessa's friendship with Sweet Tea. According to Heavenly, there's something fishy about the two of them randomly becoming friends. What do they even have in common?

Obviously, there was already friction between Contessa and Heavenly. They were throwing shade at each other all day long. The comment about her friendship with Sweet Tea was like pouring gas on a fire. She and Heavenly started getting into it, and things quickly went left.

"Don't yell at me," Heavenly warned Contessa. "Do this sh-t with your husband because that's the motherf-cker you're mad at."

Oop! Contessa bucked up and replied, "You think my husband's abusive?"

They cut to a clip of Dr. Heavenly on her infamous YouTube page, making accusations about Dr. Scott and Contessa's marriage. Heavenly doesn’t think she did anything wrong. With that in mind, Contessa and Heavenly's fight at the dude ranch escalated to a point of no return.

Chaos erupts at the ranch

After Heavenly mentioned Contessa's husband, things really started to get gross. Contessa started talking bout Heavenly's kids and their failed beauty supply store. Then, she took a shot at Dr. Damon.

"At least I don't have to worry bout some mixed kids with the last name of Kimes," Dr. Contessa said, seemingly accusing Damon of some major infidelity.

As the fight raged on, Quad stood on the sidelines and said it felt worse than the Season 10 funeral home fiasco. She's not wrong. This was next-level messy.

The ladies tried to sit down and have dinner, but the bickering kept going on. The blows got lower and lower. At one point, Heavenly said, "Your mama stupid."

"My mother that died in 2010?" Contessa asked Heavenly, who replied, "Yes."

Then came the moment we saw in the trailer. Contessa came around the table ready to throw hands with Dr. Heavenly. She told Heavenly to "square up," and Heavenly nervously backed up and started calling for security.

Security was a little slow to arrive. Dr. Jackie tried to fill in and somehow wound up on the ground. Ahead of the season, she told Reality Tea that there were some "low lows" this season, but we didn’t think she meant literally!

Once Jackie got off the ground, she grabbed Heavenly and tearfully tried to flee the scene in a golf cart. On the other side of the ring, Contessa stormed off into the night, and it's unclear if anyone ever ate dinner.

Married to Medicine Season 11 resumes on January 5 at 9/8c on Bravo.

TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON MARRIED TO MEDICINE SEASON 11, EPISODE 5? DO YOU THINK THE LADIES NAILED THEIR COWBOY CARTER PHOTOSHOOT? DO YOU FEEL LIKE HEAVENLY AND CONTESSA WENT TOO FAR WITH THEIR DIGS THIS WEEK?

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