Wife Upset After Husband Ignored Her Request to Not Send Holiday Cards to Family Members Who Skipped Daughter's Wedding

12/25/2024 10:00 AM

"I no longer feel good about these family members," the "shocked and saddened" woman wrote in an anonymous submission to an advice column

A woman is feeling particularly blue this winter after her husband sent holiday cards to family members she doesn't like behind her back.

In an anonymous submission toDear Abby, an advice column written by Abigail Van Buren, the woman wrote that she is "still shocked and saddened" after her husband sent holiday cards to several members of his family who recently "let [them] down badly" by not attending their daughter's wedding.

"They had various work and other family obligations near the date of our event," the woman explained. " 'Save the Date' cards had been sent out six months prior, but we were apparently lower on their priority list. I expressed to my husband my desire to not send holiday cards this year because I no longer feel good about these family members."

She thought she and her husband were on the same page about not sending holiday cards this year — but she was wrong. 

She continued in her submission: "Then, while I was traveling for work, he bought cards, printed a letter with pictures, signed it from both of us and sent it to most of his family and some of our mutual friends. The first I heard about it was from a friend thanking me for the card and pictures a month later."

The wife discussed this with her husband, who apologized to her. But she can't seem to get over it. She signed her message "STILL MIFFED" and asked Abby for her thoughts.

Related: 'Frugal' Bride Fighting with Her Fiancé Because He Wants a Big Wedding They Can't Afford: 'Completely Against It'

In her response, Abby took the husband's side.

"DEAR STILL MIFFED: Although you didn't want to send holiday cards to the relatives who skipped your daughter's wedding, apparently your husband didn't feel the same way. He was entitled to do what he did," she wrote. "Repeat after me: A wedding invitation is not a command performance. Now let it go."

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Hundreds of people in the comments section agreed with Abby. They added that the woman is acting bitter and holding a grudge against her husband's family members for their prior obligations.

"Your husband is a generous soul for buying cards, preparing his chatty letter and sending it to his loved ones. You? Not so much," the top comment reads. "LW (letter writer), no one is obligated to attend a wedding even when they have advance notice. To punish them for not attending is mean-spirited and doesn't accomplish anything except for resentment all around. If that's what you wanted, consider yourself successful."