Tori Spelling Thinks It Was 'Disservice' to Kids to Stay with Dean McDermott So Long

12/11/2024 12:41 PM

Breaking down how her divorce from Dean McDermott has impacted their five children, the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum says she stayed with him so long for the kids, but now thinks it only made things harder.

Tori Spelling fell for the myth that a two-parent household is always better for children, but now wishes she hadn't fought to stay with ex-husband Dean McDermott quite so long for the kids' sakes.

"My parents were married over 25 years, up until my dad passed," Tori said on her MisSPELLING podcast. "I saw a family always together, and so it was different and I always thought that, as bad as things might be between my partner and myself, it's better to have their dad in the house, than in a different residence.

The Beverly Hills, 90210 alum also said that there's this innate desire from children to see their parents stay together, to keep that traditional family unit intact, and that also fed into her choice to stay and fight to make it work.

Now, she is able to look at the family and the kids in a new light. "On my part, at least, the want of kids, just always wanting their parents together I think kept me from making—what was outwardly a better decision for them than what they saw between two partners," she shared.

She said that those desires from the kids, and that model from her parents played a huge role in how things played out. "I think that kept me in the relationship far too long, and it ultimately, I feel, did a disservice to my kids," she confessed.

That said, sometimes things might happen the way they do for a reason, with Tori saying that despite the fact she and Dean could have walked away years ago, she's grateful they didn't then because of their youngest.

"I think he and I both were in a place where we might have separated or divorced before Beau was born," she said. "But we worked on our relationship, stayed together and I'll never regret not leaving then. I'm sure he wouldn't either because we wouldn't have had Beau."

But as grateful as she is for their baby boy, Tori had to admit, "things didn't get better between us" after he was born. As things progressed, she admitted that she and Dean reached a point in their own relationship where they basically just "did things as a family for the kids."

In March 2024, Tori filed for divorce from Dean, after having announced their separation in June 2023. Later in 2023, Dean took responsibility for the end of their marriage, telling The Daily Mail, "All Tori's ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman ... I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day."

And while she's happy that they ultimately did make the decision to separate, she had to admit she sometimes misses having a partner while raising their five kids. Tori and Dean share Liam, 17, Stella, 16, Hattie, 13, Finn, 12, and Beau, 7.

"There's still times where I'm like, 'Oh gosh, it would be so nice to have that extra set of hands,'" she admitted, but by no means does that mean she would consider a reconciliation, calling their marriage "rough" on the kids.

"My husband is sober now -- over a year now, so we're very proud of him," she said. "But before that, it was rough for them to see, and it was very disjointing."

You can listen to the full two-part discussion about how the divorce has affected Tori's family below.