The Perfect Couple Recap: A Fiction Writer Walks into a Bar

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Photo: Seacia Pavao/Netflix

Well, The Perfect Couple is turning out to be an efficient little show, isn't it? It doesn't take long for us to be provided with explanations for the shady things that not one but two Winbury brothers have been up to. Obviously, you never know who to trust at Summerland, but both Will and Benji's stories add up.

Will "I sail! I'm a sailor! I sail!" Winbury and Chloe are found safe and sound post "my dad had sex with my French tutor and then sent her away" tantrum. Chief Carter has another sit down with the kid, and he does not mince words about what he'll do to him if Will ever endangers his daughter again. You can tell that Carter also feels for the kid — if anyone knows how fucked up his family is, it's Chief Carter. (Michael Beach is so great in this scene, I wish we got more of him.)

Will explains away all of the suspicious pieces of evidence pointing in his direction. That video of him and Merritt getting into something on the beach occurs after he overhears Merritt telling Tag that she's pregnant. He runs after her to warn her that his dad will never leave his mom, no matter what he says. He also tells her that his trust would be coming in in just a month (!!) and he could help her with the baby — he wants to help her. She calms him down. He's just a kid; this isn't his problem. The prints on the oyster shucking knife, the gash on his hand, and the blood in the sand were all just an accident — he was literally trying to shuck oysters drunk and cut his hand. This is objectively hilarious. He just is bad at shucking oysters, you guys! And finally, the bracelet: Later that night, still hanging at the secret spot with Chloe fast asleep, he sees Merritt walk off sobbing — after her fight with Amelia — and she tosses her bracelet into the sand. He just wanted to keep it safe and give it back to her. He didn't tell anyone about this because he didn't want his mom to find out about Tag and Merritt. And then Carter asks the question of the hour: "You're sure your mom didn't know already?"

Some of this seems silly, but we do know that Will seems to get overly attached to women (typically older ones) that he crushes on, so it does track for the most part. In the end, Will is just a sad sack teenager with a piece of shit for a dad. We can't fault him for that!

Benji, too, fully explains his situation, this time to Amelia, who finally confronts her fiancé about the pictures of her dead best friend he's hoarding. You see, between the Tag stuff, Benji having these photos and sketches, Will hiding Merritt's bracelet, and the Mae Pratt story, Amelia has spiraled into a theory in which the entire Winbury family had something to do with her friend's death and now they are all covering it up. Benji tells her that she has it all wrong — Merritt gave him those photos because she wanted him to paint her portrait after seeing the one he did of Amelia. She promised to post it and tag him, etcetera. He wanted it to be a surprise for Amelia because … he's an idiot, mostly.

Amelia realizes, for reasons that aren't completely clear but please do theorize, that Benji must already know the truth about Merritt and his dad. And he does. He saw them together at the Nantucket house once, and he was trying to get Merritt to end it, knowing his father never would. It's why he called her so much. Now that voicemail about it breaking Amelia's heart makes much more sense. Benji wants to make it very clear that his dad is definitely an asshole, but he is nothing like him. "I love you so fucking much," he tells her as she hugs him. He promises there will be no more secrets between them.

It's unfortunate timing since Amelia has a big ol' secret brewing herself. We learn more about the history between Amelia and Shooter, which, honestly, is one of the least compelling elements of this show. It is nice, however, that the show makes sure Amelia isn't some saintly figure — normal girls can be shitty, too. They bonded the first time they met while on the Winbury PJ to Nantucket and then spent the day there together, waiting for Benji to arrive. Shooter's mother died when he was 14 and Benji, his roommate at boarding school, invited him to stay with his family that summer — they've been close ever since. After some chatting and drinking, Shooter realizes that he and Amelia actually met before, during some charged encounter on the B train. There's also a moment when Amelia walks in on Shooter in the outdoor shower and she definitely stands there staring just a little too long. They have feelings, clearly.

And in the present day, Amelia decides it's a good time to seek him out and apologize for not being fair to him. In another life, they could've, would've been something. And then they make out … right in time for Benji to catch them in the act. Hey, remember how we learned he had some anger issues as a teenager? We get a glimpse of those when he screams out "fuck!" and slams his fist on the door jamb upon catching his fiancée and best friend sucking face. Hours earlier, he had told Benji that unlike his mother, he could never forgive cheating, so we'll see how that goes.

The couple who actually may have reached the point of no return here is Greer and Tag. Mr. Winbury is still attempting to get himself out of the dog house, which currently sits in an even deeper hole than before, thanks to the fact that he was absolutely useless in regard to Will. He saunters into Greer's office, drink in hand (is he ever not drunk at this point?), even though she is not at all interested in whatever he's selling at the moment. When he asks her if she "want[s] to talk about it?" he could mean so many things — Merritt, Will, what's up with Broderick Graham, who Tag definitely knows something about, calling the house. Things take a toxically sexual turn from there. It's like he gets off on Greer telling him that she hates him, on her screaming at him. She is all he wants. When she feels him sliding in behind her, she tells him she doesn't want him to touch her, but he does and she definitely likes it. "I can't control myself, I never could," he whispers in her ear. And then, she's into it, and two of them are having sex up against the window.

Their kinks aren't that surprising, but you know what is? What Greer decides to do next. After having a quick think on one of her interactions with Merritt at the rehearsal dinner, in which she marks her territory and in the process learns that Merrrit was pregnant, she tracks down Chief Carter at the bar. They have a quick chat about Merritt's toxicology report he's looking over in which it states the young woman had a whole lot of barbiturates in her system at her time of death. (Would Carter just give this up by accident?) But Greer didn't simply come to chat and have a beer at the local dive (she would never). She has something for Carter: She hands him the receipt for the bracelet Tag bought Merritt. That's right: She's handing the police the exact kind of physical evidence they need to tie Tag to Merritt. That receipt and the pregnancy, which has been confirmed, are enough to bring Tag in for questioning — which is exactly what Carter and Detective Henry do. Has Greer just turned in her husband for murder? If Greer killed Merritt, did she just frame her husband for the job? I guess that whole thing about unconditional love means protecting your partner no matter what actually does have some conditions.

Wedding Favors

• Man, oh man, Benji is having a rough day. Before he walks in on Amelia and Shooter, he runs into Thomas and Abby about to dig into his wedding cake. He asks them to stop, but those two psychopaths have zero empathy for him and refuse to give it up. Eventually, Benji dunks Tom's head into the cake, which is very much warranted, and the two get into a tussle the only way brothers can: very poorly! Abby eventually breaks it up by yelling at them to stop because her dress is vintage, okay?!

• Oh, I laughed so hard at Abby making absolutely no moves to attempt to clean up said cake and instead just screamed for Gosia to come and help. She remains the worst/best.

• We get another moment with Karen and her pills, FYI. Something is definitely going to come out of all of this set up.

• Fed up with being ignored, Broderick Graham is now staying at the Sand Dollar Motel and calling Greer at her house. Greer continues to play dumb, but the looks on both Tag and Gosia's faces tell me they all know who this guy is.

• Always let Abby take messages for you. Her deeply wise-ass response to Broderick is so good: "I'll be sure to let her know you called her home number on a holiday weekend, bye."

• Has Shooter ever opened a bag of M&Ms before?

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