Man Schedules Work Trip on Wife's Birthday for the Third Year In a Row, Thinks It's 'Childish' She Cares

03/24/2025 11:57 AM

The Internet is defending the woman, arguing that the man is making a "choice" by repeating the same pattern

A man says his wife is upset after he scheduled a work trip to coincide with her birthday — for the third year in a row.

In a post shared on Reddit, the man writes that he works in medical sales and his job requires him to be on the road frequently: "3+ days per week, 3 weeks per month."

"I plan meetings and schedule my own travel," he writes. "I scheduled a work trip over my wife's 34th bday this year."

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He planned to make up for it, he adds, by "taking her out to dinner that Friday or Saturday (her bday is on Thursday)."

"I have already ordered her a gift (a pair of shoes I know she wants and a few other things). I will give a card and flowers, it just won't be on her ACTUAL birthday because I will be out of town," he writes.

He continues: "My wife is angry I will be missing it and is hurt I'm not arranging my schedule to avoid travel on her actual birthday."

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The man adds that he doesn't believe birthdays are "THAT big of a deal," writing, "I think it's reasonable to simply celebrate her birthday the next day or over the weekend ... I feel her focus on her birthday 'date' is a bit childish."

"Adult birthdays aren't something I feel I have to adjust my work schedule for? I have to prioritize my obligations in a performance-based sales job," he adds.

Now, he says, his wife is telling him he's being "inconsiderate for being out of town and I should be more sympathetic to the fact I will be gone for work, leaving her alone on her day."

"This is the third year in a row this has happened … we never see each other's side and apparently, I never learn my lesson," he adds.

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Many fellow Reddit users are taking issue with the fact that the man says that he makes his own schedule — wondering why he continues to schedule work trips on his wife's birthday, year after year.

"If your wife has made it known she wants to spend her birthday with her husband and you can easily accommodate that (since you make your own schedule).. It's giving - you don't care to fulfill her needs, make her feel special, or listen when she says something is important," writes one commenter.

Adds another: "Once is understandable, twice is a pattern, third time is straight up disrespectful."