Man Born with HIV Shares How He and His Wife Are Expecting an HIV-Negative Baby: 'I Was Able to Break a Cycle' (Exclusive)

11/05/2024 04:30 AM

Joseph Kibler and his wife, Carey Cox, noted they had other concerns than HIV when preparing to have a baby

• Joseph Kibler was born with HIV, but through a strict regimen of medications, he's currently undetectable
• He and his wife, Carey Cox, are currently expecting their first baby in April 2025, and their baby will be HIV-negative
• The couple shared they had other concerns beyond Kibler's HIV status when planning to have their first child

Joseph Kibler was born with HIV and has been battling the virus his whole life, but when he and his wife, Carey Cox, began the discussion of starting a family, that was only one piece of their fertility puzzle. 

"As long as my HIV is undetectable, I cannot transmit HIV to my partner or to a child," Kibler says in a conversation with PEOPLE, noting he double-checked with his doctors that he was still healthy before he and Cox began their fertility journey. 

In fact, Kibler and Cox say Cox's disabilities were more of a concern as they planned for a child.

"I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which gives me chronic pain and joint issues and affects the way that I walk," Cox says. "Really, in our discussion of having a child — because you can pass on Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome — that was more of a conversation than the possibility of HIV." 

Though Kibler was born with HIV, through a diligent regimen of medication he has been undetectable, meaning he's unable to transmit the virus to his wife or their child. Ehlers-Danlos, though, can be passed genetically from parent to child, and at this time there's no genetic testing available to determine whether or not a fetus has Cox's specific type.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

"The conversation became more with doctors about, well, if we did have a child with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, how would we best take care of them, and what would their quality of life be?" Cox continues.

Kibler and Cox, who met in early 2020, are expecting their child in early 2025. Kibler shared the news of their pregnancy on his TikTok and Instagram pages, confirming with his audience of more than 180,000 followers that their child will be born HIV-negative. 

"I was able to break a cycle and heal something I never thought I could," Kibler wrote in his video.

The TikTok has since been viewed more than 888,000 times and garnered 164,000 likes; the comments are filled with notes from other users who have loved ones who died from HIV or AIDS, or those who were cognizant of the AIDS epidemic when it began in the 1980s.

"I'm not sure the younger gens are able to appreciate this in quite the same way those of us who lived through it," one commenter wrote. "CONGRATULATIONS you did it."

Related: After Losing His Mom and Sister to AIDS, Jake Glaser Overcomes 'Survivor's Guilt' to Help Others

"Many, many blessings to you & your wife. My mother died of AIDS in 1995. I was 17, my sister 3 days shy of 13," another TikTok user commented. "This is news we never thought would be possible back then."

Kibler began making content online in 2021, frequently using his platform to talk about both his HIV status and living with cerebral palsy. He says he's been honest about his status since he was a teenager, noting that keeping such an integral part of his life a secret was something he had to do as a kid that ultimately had a negative effect on his mental health.

"When I started to do online content again, it was kind of like, okay, well, it's hard for me to get very far through all the things I want to talk about without mentioning [my HIV status]," Kibler says. "And then once you mention that you do kind of have a choice to make, because people are going to ask questions."

"I got to a point where I wasn't going to engage with somebody, or have relationships with anybody, or even friendships with people who didn't know about my status, because it was it's entwined with me," he continues.

Related: Magic Johnson Details How He's Defied the Odds Since 1991 HIV Diagnosis: 'I've Done My Part' (Exclusive)

Kibler and Cox plan to move in with her mom shortly after their baby's arrival to have some additional help in the early days of parenting. In the meantime, they're doing as much research as they can to ensure they're fully prepared to take care of their newborn — well, as prepared as any new parent can be.

"I know that our kid will be different from any kid who I've met," Cox says, adding her current day job is in childcare, which has taught her how to adapt.

"We're raising our child, and our child is not other people's children," Kibler says. "They're gonna grow up knowing us and knowing how we move. You know, you just adapt to your surroundings."