I'm at the end of my tether with my reckless older sister's behaviour

09/26/2024 12:40 PM

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years and years of reckless behaviour, I'm at the end of my tether with my older sister.

Whether she's fleecing money off of my parents or partying the night away while her kids are at home, everything she does is chaotic. 

I'm 34, my sister is 38, and ever since we were teenagers she's always been a bit of a loose cannon.

She's never managed to hold down a job for longer than a year but always blames the work, the colleagues, or her bosses. It is never ever her fault. 

We thought she would finally settle down when she met her first husband and fell pregnant, but nothing changed. After the birth of her first child, she was back on the lash within a couple of weeks.

Now she's engaged to her third man and has four kids with four different dads.

This wouldn't even be so bad if she could actually parent them properly, but every weekend she's out drinking, leaving her fiance or my parents to do the honours. 

Her children are lovely but I worry about the impact that my sister's selfish attitude is having on them.

The worst part is that she never has any money of her own and is constantly using my parents as her own personal ATM.

I've tried talking to her countless times but it's like talking to a brick wall.

DEIDRE SAYS: As hard as it may be, you and your parents need to start setting strong boundaries.

Talk to your parents about how the hand outs aren't helping your sister. By funding her frivolous lifestyle they are in fact enabling her poor habits. 

It may be worth finding a moment when you are both calm to try to have another go at sorting things out. Approach her gently and tell her that you are worried about her. 

My support pack Stressed With The Kids will help.