I had to place my son's Christmas presents in his coffin rather than watch him open them – he died after a coughing fit

12/20/2024 04:48 AM

A MUM-of-three whose son suffered a fatal asthma attack at Christmas time is warning parents to look out for potential triggers this festive season.

Jake Timmis was just 12 when he collapsed at home on December 23 after he began struggling to breathe.

His mum Natalie desperately tried to help him while they waited for an ambulance, but his asthma attack was so bad he lost consciousness at the foot of the stairs and never woke up.

Now the devastated mum, who says every Christmas is a “reminder of the beautiful son I lost”, is urging other parents to take the condition seriously and ensure their children are protected.

"There isn't a day that goes by when I don't miss Jake and Christmas will never be the same again," says Natalie, 34, from Birmingham.

"It is so hard. I never got to give him his Christmas presents the year he died and have packed them away in cabinets full of his things.

"I placed some of them in his coffin with him because I wanted him to still have them."

Jake first began displaying symptoms of asthma when he was a baby.

He had to use inhalers from the age of six months onwards to see if they would help him. 

"It was scary when he was a baby as he would really struggle to breathe and his lips would turn blue," explains Natalie.

"I was often rushing him to hospital, and he'd usually have to stay in for a few days."

As he got older, Jake was admitted to hospital with an asthma attack around twice a year.

He would have yearly reviews and be given steroid tablets when he needed them, but he struggled a lot in the winter as the cold weather was one of his asthma triggers and affected him badly.

"I would always tell him to wear a scarf around his mouth and nose whenever he walked to school in cold weather to warm up the air he breathed in and remind him to keep on top of his medication," recalls Natalie.

"He would get fed up with his asthma sometimes and say, 'Why can't I just be normal?' which was understandable as he was a child and just wanted to be like his mates."

Jake had always loved spending Christmas with his mum, stepdad Christopher, sister Amelie, now six, and brother Morgan, now 21.

But on the evening of December 22, 2020, he suddenly began having serious difficulty breathing.

"It was 9.45pm and I told him to go up to bed, so he took his inhalers and lay down and was asleep within minutes," remembers Natalie.

"I checked on him before going to bed myself and he seemed fine."

But just moments later Natalie could hear Jake coughing.

She got up to find him out on the landing on all fours saying, 'Mum, I can't breathe'.

Natalie called for an ambulance straight away then tried to calm Jake down.

"His reliever inhaler wasn't helping so I helped him down the stairs towards the front door," Natalie says.

"I wanted the paramedics to be able to get to him immediately when they arrived."

But as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Jake suddenly collapsed.

"He just dropped out of my arms and was unconscious at the foot of the stairs," says Natalie.

"I phoned 999 again frantically asking what I should do and was trying to give him CPR, but he still wasn't coming round."

My mum said that my screams echoed through the hospital, but I don't even remember screaming

NatalieMum

Three ambulance crews arrived, and Jake was given an adrenaline shot.

He was rushed to hospital where doctors fought to resuscitate him, but he had no heartbeat and never regained consciousness.

"I was just standing there watching helplessly, saying, 'Come on Jake, please. Mummy's here', says Natalie.

"They cut a hole into both of his lungs to try somehow to get oxygen into them and they managed to get his heart beating again for a short time but then it stopped once more.

"Just after midnight, Jake passed away.

"My mum was with me and later said that my screams echoed through the hospital, but I don't even remember screaming."

Doctors explained to Natalie that Jake had experienced an acute and sudden exacerbation of asthma that led to his death, which was uncommon but can happen.

"It was not known what had triggered the asthma attack, but it was unlikely there was anything anyone could have done to save Jake once it came on because it escalated so fast," says Natalie.

‘I didn’t want him to feel alone’

The doctors had had to cut Jake's clothes off when he'd arrived at hospital because he'd been sick.

In a daze, the first thing Natalie did after she received the news that he'd died was go to a nearby supermarket.

"I was walking around Morrison's sobbing in my pyjamas looking for warm clothes to dress him in," she recalls.

"I didn't want him to be cold lying there on the hospital bed."

That Christmas, Jake's family were too devastated to celebrate, and Natalie cried every time she thought of the gifts she'd bought for her son and how excited he would have been to open them.

"I had got him a Venom jumper, as he loved that film, and some other Marvel gifts and Lego," says Natalie.

"I also bought him his very first mobile phone, which was something he'd wanted for ages.

"I placed some of his presents in his coffin with him before his funeral because he never got to open them.

"I also put lots of pictures of him with his family in there too, and his favourite teddy so he wouldn't feel alone."

Natalie adds: "Jake loved Christmas and everything about it.

"We always had a family Christmas together and he loved getting up early in the morning with his sister to open gifts under the tree and watching the Christmas Chronicles every year – his favourite film.

"But Christmas is awful for me now. I hate it.

"I know it's horrible to say that, but I only celebrate it for Amelie – I put a brave face on for her sake.

"Four years have passed since we lost Jake but there isn't a day when I don't think of him."

Although doctors said it was unlikely anything could have been done to prevent Jake's sudden and severe asthma attack that day, Natalie wants to warn other parents to take asthma seriously.

"People often don't understand how dangerous asthma can be," she says.

"Whenever I would tell other parents Jake couldn't do PE at school because of his asthma, their attitude was, 'Well, it's only asthma, he'll be fine.'

"They think you just get a bit breathless, have an inhaler, and everything is okay, but it's not like that at all.

"There was nothing I could have done to save my Jake, but other parents might be able to help their children by making sure they keep up their medication routines, have regular asthma reviews, and are aware of their triggers."

Asthma + Lung UK is also urging parents to be on their guard over the festive season when there are numerous asthma triggers around.

These include colder weather, dust and mould spores from Christmas trees and decorations, smoke from candles, and more colds and viruses circulating.

Dr Andrew Whittamore, GP and clinical lead at the charity, says: "Cases like Jake's are so tragic, and my heart goes out to his family.

"Stories like these also show just how serious asthma is and why it should be treated as such.

"There are numerous triggers around this time which may exacerbate asthma symptoms, such as breathlessness, coughing and wheezing, or lead to a potentially fatal asthma attack.

"It is vital that those with asthma protect themselves so they can stay well during the festive period, by ensuring they take their medicines correctly and staying away from triggers whenever possible."

Asthma + Lung UK says anyone with asthma should do the following over the festive season:

• Take your preventer inhaler every day as prescribed if you use one as it is the most important way to dampen down the inflammation in the airways that causes symptoms and asthma attacks.   
•  Always carry your reliever inhaler with you if you have one, so you don't get caught out. 
•  Make sure you check that you are taking your inhalers correctly so that all the medicine can get to where it is needed – speak to your nurse, GP or pharmacist, or watch our inhaler videos here if you are unsure.
•  Seek medical advice if you are having to use your reliever inhaler three or more times a week as this is a sign that you have untreated inflammation in your airways and are at risk of having an asthma attack.   
•  Be mindful of indoor air pollution. Things like smoke from candles or log fires can be harmful to breathe in and trigger symptoms for some people with asthma.
•  Avoid your known triggers whenever possible. This can be as simple as asking people not to get you gifts that can attract dust, such as soft toys. Food and drink high in histamines or sulphites can also trigger asthma symptoms for a small number of people with asthma, but there is plenty of other Christmas fayre to enjoy, so look for alternatives.
• Check your medicines are in date, that you've got enough medicine left to last over Christmas and New Year, and collect any medicines you need before your GP surgery or local pharmacy closes for the festive period.  
• Confirm your GP and nearest pharmacy's Christmas opening times on the NHS website.
• Make sure you have enough antihistamines and nasal sprays if you have rhinitis or other allergies.