I flogged dodgy TVs like Only Fools' Del Boy – I was petrified when cops threw me in the slammer, say Vinnie Jones

09/25/2024 03:30 PM

VINNIE JONES was famous for his bone-crunching tackles and collection of red cards during his football career.

But the former Wimbledon midfielder's team-mates also remember him for another reason — his wheeler-dealing.

That's why Vinnie believes he has landed his dream role in Only Fools And Horses: The Musical — because he's a real-life Del Boy.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun, Vinnie, 59, says: "I love a bit of wheeler- dealing, you don't forget where you come from.

"Pairs of knocked-off Gucci shoes in different sizes, sheepskin coats, what­ever we could get hold of — we were all at it."

Vinnie, who is playing villain Danny Driscoll in the hit stage show, says his go-to contact for "hooky gear" was a notorious trader who had an office at his local golf club, despite the fact his goods were totally unrelated to the sport.

He explains: "I would go there and see him, and he would be sitting there with a henchman. It was coming up to Christmas and he said to me, 'I've got these lovely nests of tables and these toasters'.

"He said, 'Maybe your boys at football might want them for Christmas?'

"So I took these tables, mahogany-looking things, and white toasters to the training ground and knocked them all out to the lads. Bought them for £3, sold them for a fiver, fing lovely.

"Anyway, I later found out all the nests of tables had a leg missing, in every box, and the toasters — the spring was so strong they'd shoot out and hit the roof."

Russian tellies

He added: "One of the players got one for his mum for Christmas and they'd just decorated the kitchen and the toast comes out, 'Bang!' and it's all black on the ceiling.

"So I had a bill for the f***ing decorator and ended up with all the toasters and tables back. It cost me a fortune."

And Vinnie's dodgy dealing did not end there.

Indeed, he says he was later landed with an assortment of knock-off Russian televisions, which he had to store in his garage.

The star did not think that would be a problem until the police popped round to his house to arrest him after an altercation with a neighbour.

Vinnie explains: "I got sent around 100 of these Russian tellies to my house, after I told him I sold a few.

"We put them in the garage, and in that house you had to go through the garage to get to the kitchen.

I'm sitting in the cell that night thinking, 'F***! How am I going to explain the tellies?

Vinnie

"That was the time I had a punch-up with the neighbour, so all the police turn up at the house. There's spotlights everywhere and lasers on me, armed response and helicopters.

"They ask me to open up the garage and they shimmy between the wall and these TVs, which were wall to wall, ceiling to floor, and I never got asked about it.

"I'm sitting in the cell that night thinking, 'F***! How am I going to explain the tellies?' But it never came out."

He adds: "Anyway, they all went f***ing wrong. I ended up getting a skip and dumping the lot, but I still had to pay."

Vinnie kicks off his run in the Only Fools musical this Christmas, starring in 28 shows at London's Hammersmith Eventim Apollo from December 17.

The show is now on a nationwide tour until July 5 next year, following its record-breaking four-year sold-out run in the West End.

Funnyman Paul Whitehouse, who features as Grandad, wrote the musical with Jim Sullivan, son of late Only Fools creator John Sullivan.

Vinnie, who will only appear in the Hammer­smith dates, reveals he was offered a part in the stage production before it first launched but felt it was not the right time to take it on.

But this time he could not say no — after a chat with film producer Guy Ritchie, his close friend and the man who sparked his acting career by casting him in 1998 Brit gangster flick Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels.

Vinnie says: "They called me a few months ago, asked if the time was right and I said, 'Let me make a phone call'.

"So I phoned my old mate Guy and said, 'What do you think?' And he's a big fan of it and said, 'Yeah, you've got to do it.' It's like the Royal Family of comedy, so to be asked is incredible.

Striking height difference

"I was rehearsing last week and I'm loving working with the cast."

Vinnie's character is one half of the TV show's notorious Peckham-based gangsters the Driscoll Brothers.

The duo — played by 6ft 4in Roy Marsden and 5ft 1in Christopher Ryan — terrified Del Boy, Rodney and the rest of the Nags Head regulars on the show.

And Vinnie says the brothers remind him of himself and ex-Wimbledon teammate Dennis Wise, given their striking height difference.

He says: "There's a little bit of this with my football, with me and Wisey, don't forget. I was with Wisey all day Saturday — we're still great mates, very close. When we played at Wimbledon in the Cup Final, we were very much the Driscoll Brothers.

"It would have got mentioned some-where down the line."

Vinnie is no stranger to playing hardmen on screen but never before has one of his villainous characters had to burst into song — until now.

Of the prospect of singing live, Vinnie, who came sixth on Celebrity X Factor in 2019, says: "I've got a big old song in it, called Being A Villain. But I don't for one minute make myself out to be a singer.

I'd never cut my arm off for the acting, whereas I would have done for the football

Vinnie

"The cast reminded me about X Factor, but my performances were more of a show than me being a singer. That's what I bring to the party. You've got to bring something.

"Guy has always said to me, 'You've got two massive things going for you. One is your screen presence and the other is your timing.'

'Football was my life'

"And I'm not consciously aware of that, so that's how I got Lock Stock in the first place."

Vinnie, who also played for Chelsea and Leeds during his 15-year career on the pitch, has now been an actor longer than he was a professional sportsman.

So with that extra experience in front of the camera, does the former Welsh international think he's a better actor than he was footballer?

He responds: "No, I was a better footballer.

"I had to play in a system for some teams, I had a role to play.

"But when I went to Chelsea and Leeds, that was me. You saw me as the footballer I know I am then.

"We had a system at Wimbledon and we won the FA Cup. You knew your lines, you knew who you were picking up."

He adds: "I enjoy the acting, but football was my life. You could have cut my arm off for football. Like these people I'm working with now, acting is their everything, but my parallel is football.

"I'd never cut my arm off for the acting, whereas I would have done for the football. I was a good player, I was captain of Watford schoolboys, the schools of Hertfordshire, captain of that — you don't get that for being an old clogger, do you know what I mean?"

Vinnie's ever-expanding acting CV will soon include a reunion with Ritchie on the second series of Netflix hit The Gentlemen, plus a new film he is set to shoot in LA afterwards

So will we see the accomplished actor treading the boards once again after starring in his first stage show? Perhaps doing a bit of Shakespeare?

"No, no," he says defiantly. "I'm one and done probably, but I'd like to go out with a bang."

Just like those exploding toasters.

•  Vinnie Jones stars in Only Fools and Horses: The Musical at London's Hammer­smith Apollo, December 17 – January 5. Get tickets at onlyfoolsonstage.com.