Hayden Panettiere's First Interview About 2023 Death of Brother Jansen: 'Heartbroken'

09/18/2024 11:21 AM

Hayden Panettiere is opening up for the first time about the tragic loss of her brother Jansen Panettiere in 2023.

Jansen, 28, died from an undiagnosed heart condition, leaving the actress "heartbroken."

Now, Hayden tells People magazine about her grief, the physical toll the loss had on her body and how she's coping now.

Panettiere shared, "He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him. When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul," later adding, "I will always be heartbroken about it. I will never be able to get over it. No matter how many years go by, I will never get over his loss."

In the days that followed, she spent more and more time at home, especially after "horrific paparazzi pictures" surfaced of her from Jansen's very private funeral.

"My agoraphobia came out, which is something I've struggled with in the past," she said.

It didn't help matters that Hayden said her body "ballooned out" too, due to the "stress and cortisol" she experienced after his death.

"I didn't feel confident to put on clothes and get out of the house, but I also knew that I needed to get out and keep moving or I'd never stop looking and feeling this way," she said. "It became a destructive hamster wheel of, do I feel good enough to go out?"

Everything turned around when she met personal trainer Marnie Alton.

Panettiere began working out with Alton and they would take "beautiful walks" that felt like a "therapy session."

"My body just started reacting, not just from the working out. It allowed me to release the stress, the high expectations I'd always put on myself," she explained.

She started feeling better and the agoraphobia started to recede, saying, "There's nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door."

As for how she's coping now, Hayden said, "When something that massive has happened to you, you really learn to pick your fights and just not let the little things upset you. Because once something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there's not much that can really rock you."

She also has a new movie in theaters on September 27 called "Amber Alert," about a ride share that starts following a vehicle fitting the description of a car in an Amber Alert.