Couple Split for 16 Months to Get Sober. When They Remarried, She Adopted His Son Born During Divorce (Exclusive)
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09/30/2024 03:33 PM
Rachel Tucker decided to become a legal parent to her husband's child, who was born with illegal substances in his system and placed in state custody
Kendrah Damis Photography
Rachel Tucker with her husband, Eric, and four of their kids- In 2020, Rachel Tucker and her husband, Eric, divorced to get sober separately. During their time apart, Eric welcomed a son with another woman. When the baby was placed in foster care, his biological mother became absent.
- After making strides in their recovery, Rachel and Eric rekindled their relationship. Rachel decided to adopt Eric's son, and together they successfully pursued custody of the child.
- Rachel — who is mom to four other kids — posted a trio of TikToks about her adoption journey, though she tells PEOPLE she never expected the videos to go viral as they did.
Rachel Tucker started raising her son Tommie when he was 11 months old, but only after she spent many sleepless nights wondering if she was making the right decision. Rachel's husband, Eric, is Tommie's biological father, though the baby was born during the year-and-a-half the couple spent apart in a mutual effort to get sober.
Eric wasn't certain about Tommie's paternity when the baby first arrived in 2021, and since the infant was born with traces of illegal substances in his bloodwork, he was taken into state custody and entered into foster care. Once Rachel decided she wanted to be a parent to Tommie, she and Eric pursued custody and a paternity test — essentially in that order.
"Once I set my mind that I could find it in my heart to raise this child if needed, we contacted child services and set up a DNA test," Rachel tells PEOPLE. "We were prepared to step in for this child and showed up for the court date without even receiving our DNA test results back."
Rachel officially adopted Tommie, now 3 years old, on Sept. 18, 2023, after his biological mom showed no interest in contact for more than a year. "I just could not stomach the thought of a little child out there not knowing his biological mother or father," Rachel says.
Rachel Tucker
Rachel Tucker with her son, TommieThe adoption only expanded Tommie's network of loved ones. He immediately gained four siblings: Rachel's two children from a previous relationship, ages 19 and 16, and the two she shares with Eric, ages 9 and 1. Plus, the mom of five says Tommie's foster parents have remained in his life as aunt and uncle figures.
"We actually have taken several vacations together now and they are at all our family events. We talk to them almost every day," Rachel says of her son's previous caretakers. "They take Tommie every other weekend on a regular basis and they have been such a great support to us during this entire event."
Earlier this year, Rachel decided to share a snippet about her family's happy ending on TikTok. The video showed 5 seconds of footage from the official adoption in the courtroom. In overlaying text, Rachel described the scene: "The day I adopted my [2-year-old] son. The judge let my daughter bang the gavel. My newborn came 3 weeks early and I had to go to court only a couple days after giving birth."
In the caption, she added, "I was exhausted, but I wouldn't miss adopting him for the world!"
Since she posted the clip in June, it's reached 4.8 million viewers and garnered more than 288,000 likes. Originally, Rachel had no plans to give further detail online, but after her first TikTok went viral, she felt compelled to tell the story in full.
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"As a mother, we are so scared of judgment from others. While a lot of people knew that Eric had struggled and we had separated, they didn't fully know my story because I was afraid of what people would think," she recalls to PEOPLE. "I felt like I just had to get it off my chest and sometimes sharing your story with strangers is easier than sharing with the people you know in real life."
In the past few months, Rachel shared a follow-up TikTok with clips of Tommie and more information about his birth and adoption, which has more than 1 million views on the app. In a third post, she recorded herself addressing some misconceptions and confusion voiced in the comments on the first two videos. With three videos out there for the world to see, Rachel anticipated her friends and family would find them eventually, but she says "everyone has been really supportive" so far.
With that in mind, Rachel says she eventually plans to tell her son about it all when it's age appropriate.
"I'm not going to sell the kid a lie, even if it hurts my mama heart to tell him," she explains. "I have not figured out the specifics on what I will say yet and I'm hoping by that time I will have figured out the right words."
Finding the right words is an unsurprising challenge, since Rachel's decision to adopt Tommie was rife with mixed emotions. She says that at the time, many people told her they wouldn't be able to go through with the adoption under the same circumstances.
Rachel Tucker
Rachel Tucker and her husband, Eric, at their wedding in 2015"In my mind, I was like, 'Okay but who is going to do it?' Nobody else except his foster parents had stepped up. Who is going to step up for this child, and can I get over how this child came into the world?" Rachel reflects, looking back on her mindset while determining whether or not she wanted to become Tommie's legal parent.
Once Rachel realized she could overcome the more painful facts of his birth, she realized that her family was Tommie's family, and that solidified their relationship as mother and son.
"He is my biological children's brother. He is my husband's son, and now he is my son. To me, he is my family. My son never chose how he entered into the world and should not have to suffer because of my insecurities," says Rachel.
Still, the story remains complicated: Tommie entered his parents' life as they were navigating the road to sobriety, and in turn, navigating their future as a couple. Rachel and Eric separated in 2020 to permanently change the trajectory of their lives and the lives of their children. They officially divorced so Rachel could gain control of their shared business and bank accounts and steer them away from financial ruin.
"There was a point for my husband and I where it is very possible we could've lost everything," Rachel tells PEOPLE. "I tried several times to get myself sober by reaching out to friends and family, my doctor, going to outpatient rehab, meetings and even spending six weeks in a sober house. All of these things I tried myself were things I tried on my own free will. That's how serious I was about getting sober."
She continues, "Every time I would come back and my husband and I were together, we would start drinking or using again. I was not able to fully get myself together until we were separated so we could not enable each other."
Kendrah Damis Photography
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At a crucial turning point, the idea of jeopardizing her family unit become "overbearing" to Rachel, and her marriage took second priority. "I knew I would not be able to survive losing my children," adds Rachel. She regrets the fact that her older kids "did not get the same mother that my youngest have now," but she's determined to be the best possible mother to all of them.
Once she and Eric rekindled their relationship, they still faced hurdles resulting from their histories with addiction. In their effort to take custody of Tommie — and in Rachel's case, to adopt him — the couple needed to demonstrate their parenting capabilities to the authorities, who were aware of their pasts and their recent sobriety.
"We immediately started cooperating with children's services and hired a lawyer. We went through many tests, interviews and visitations to prove ourselves," says Rachel.
Having rehabilitated themselves and their relationship, Rachel says she and Eric are sober and "stronger than we have ever been" as a remarried couple today. They've "finally found a comfortable spot" as partners, parents and individuals.
"They say you marry for better or worse and I don't think we could've ever gone through anything much worse and made it through," Rachel says. "We have proved [that] even though we took a break, we can still get through some of the toughest events that life can give you."
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