Ashlyn Harris Says She Suggested an 'Open Marriage' as a 'Last Attempt' Before Divorce from Ali Krieger

11/25/2024 04:26 PM

Harris detailed the end of her marriage to Ali Krieger and claimed the couple struggled due to a lack of intimacy

• Ashlyn Harris detailed the end of her marriage to soccer star Ali Krieger
• The retired goalkeeper revealed she suggested an open marriage as a "last attempt" to save the relationship
• Harris said it was "quite difficult" that "only one experience played out in the media" when she and Krieger announced their split

Ashlyn Harris spoke candidly about her divorce from Ali Krieger, revealing that she suggested opening their marriage as a final attempt to save the relationship.

On the Monday, Nov. 25 episode of the Naked Sportspodcast, Harris, 39, detailed what led to the former soccer stars' divorce in Oct. 2023 after nearly four years of marriage, calling the split the "hardest thing" she's ever had to do.

Harris — who shares Sloane, 3, and Ocean, 2, with Krieger, 40 — said she became "very, very good at disassociating" toward the end of their marriage. "And that's what my therapist knew right away — it was my ability to sit and suffer...my ability to serve other people before my own wants and needs, which I genuinely think probably kept me in that marriage for as long as it did," she said.

Related: Ashlyn Harris and Ali Krieger's Relationship: A Look Back

The former goalkeeper claimed she made several attempts to save the relationship — including suggesting they open their marriage. "I started trying all these things, like, let's do an open marriage."

But Harris said she quickly realized that the terms of an open relationship weren't even what she really wanted for her marriage. "I'm like, that's just not even me, dude."

"That was like, my last attempt of, you know, if I'm not getting what I want and we want to keep this together," Harris explained.

She went on to suggest that her relationship with Krieger — whom she began dating while they were teammates for the NWSL's N.Y. Gotham — struggled due to a lack of intimacy and lacking common interests after soccer. "I think she loved the game so much and all she knew was how to sacrifice her life for the game," Harris said on the podcast.

"Then when you add children, which is a whole different layer, I just felt like I wasn't a priority."

Harris said she felt "so embarrassed" and "so much shame" because of the lack of intimacy in her marriage. "I didn't know how to tell people that, like, oh, my wife doesn't want to touch me," she shared.

When asked if her ex-wife would disagree with her assessment of what led to their divorce, Harris said, "No. She can't say that because we weren't intimate the entire part of our marriage. So, I mean, the facts are just the facts."

PEOPLE has reached out to Krieger for comment.

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Harris claims that she noticed their relationship troubles affecting their children, and she "had to do the hard thing" in ending the marriage. "I became a stranger, not only within myself, but within my relationship, and then the worst thing that you can do is start pushing that on your young children."

"I didn't wanna do that to my kids. I don't want them I don't wanna project my shame and insecurity and my marriage on them because I wasn't getting what I needed out of it."

Harris also opened up about the way her divorce played out in the public eye, especially after rumors began to swirl of her relationship with actress Sophia Bush.

"I felt like I was living with a stranger," said Harris, who admitted she "got to a point where I didn't recognize the person I looked at in the mirror" toward the end of her marriage; "And I hated that person. I was just so broken, I was so damaged."

Related: Ali Krieger Reveals She's Dating a 'Wonderful' Person Following Divorce from Ashlyn Harris

"I just had to take my power back," Harris continued, "and unfortunately, people were hurt in that process. And I wanna make room for both because it's not easy...Everyone has an experience. However, only one experience played out in the media, which is quite difficult."

Now that she's had time to reflect on the divorce, Harris said she's "not willing to compromise" her self worth "for other people through this lens of social media."

"People think only one person was in pain or people think you have to choose a side that, you know, you have to really punish this person because the idea you had through so social media didn't manage your expectations. However, you haven't lived my experience."

Krieger, meanwhile, has largely abstained from talking about the reasons for their divorce publicly. In a January interview with SELF, she opened up for the first time about learning that Harris had filed for divorce while she was at practice.

Krieger said she will "never forget that moment" recounting, "I found out at training. I was on the field. And I came off the field, in the locker room, and I was obviously devastated."

She went on to say that four months later, she's "in a healthy space."

"I'm in this transitioning phase, so I'm unarmoring myself," she told the magazine. "I have been bare, basically, for the past five months. Walking through it — not around it, over it, under it — literally walking through, feeling all the things, and learning and gaining those tools to be the woman that I've always known was there."